Prosecutors going easier on assisted suicide among elderly









SAN LUIS OBISPO — A park ranger flagged down the elderly driver as he left a lonely beach parking lot 45 minutes past closing time.


George Taylor, 86, had cuts around his neck and on his wrists. He was disoriented, and there was a body in the back seat with a plastic trash bag cinched around its neck.


"Is that a mannequin?" the ranger asked, scanning the car with his flashlight.





Taylor said that it was his wife, 81-year-old Gewynn Taylor, and that she had been dead since the sun went down that December day. He and Gewynn, his wife of 65 years, had a suicide pact, he said, and he had failed.


The incident shocked a legion of friends who knew the couple from their frequent appearances before the San Luis Obispo County Board of Supervisors, where for years they had protested a massive sewer project in their tiny town of Los Osos.


It also presented local authorities with a problem that has vexed prosecutors and profoundly troubled families across the United States: Where does justice lie for those who, with no apparent motives other than love, help family members fulfill their last wishes and end their lives?


At least twice in the last year, prosecutors in California decided not to bring charges in similar cases. In other instances, assisted suicide convictions can result in light sentences; on Friday, an Orange County social worker received three years' probation for providing an 86-year-old veteran who wanted to end his life with his final meal: Oxycontin crushed into yogurt.


Both George and Gewynn Taylor were active in community causes. By all accounts, they were constant companions. Until recently, they enjoyed doing chores around a small ranch they owned and visited from time to time. Both also were "shepherds" of the late Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the controversial doctor who practiced and preached euthanasia, according to a court document.


George Taylor, charged with the felony of assisting suicide, pleaded guilty last month.


On Wednesday, San Luis Obispo County Superior Court Judge Ginger E. Garrett sentenced him to three years' probation and two days in jail — time already served after his arrest Dec. 10, 2012, at Montana de Oro State Park. His attorney, Ilan Funke-Bilu, said his client would continue to receive mental health counseling and has "bonded" with his therapist.


At his brief hearing, the soft-spoken, slender Taylor, a retired Los Angeles firefighter, expressed gratitude but had no further comment.


In an interview, his attorney called the outcome of the case "a perfect storm of wisdom" — prosecutors brought lesser charges, and the judge was lenient.


The couple had disclosed their pact to their daughter and a few others close to them but did not reveal details, Funke-Bilu said.


"They were sharp, bright and warm," he said. "There was nothing wrong with their thinking. They were active people who always promised one another that if they couldn't lead their lives the way they felt they should, then that would be the end of it."


The attorney said medical problems were taking a toll on the couple but declined to elaborate. Neither had a terminal illness, he said, "but terminal diseases weren't the test for them."


It also wasn't the top consideration for Jack Koency, of Laguna Niguel. At 86, Koency was still mobile but had an acquaintance, Elizabeth Barrett, 66, help him end his life. Barrett bought him yogurt, a bottle of brandy and heartburn medication to help him keep the Oxycontin-and-yogurt mixture down.


Prosecutors in the 2011 case said they weighed several factors in recommending probation, including the wishes of Koency's family and "the nature of the crime."


In San Luis Obispo, Jerret Gran, a deputy district attorney, said investigators found no malice in George Taylor's action.


"It wasn't murder," Gran said. "There was an intent to help her kill herself, not an intent to kill her."


Cases filed under California's assisted suicide law rarely go to trial. Legal experts note that jurors might be torn about convicting elderly defendants they see as legitimately bereaved if not entirely blameless.





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Wired Science Space Photo of the Day: Soap Bubble Nebula


Informally known as the "Soap Bubble Nebula", this planetary nebula (officially known as PN G75.5+1.7) was discovered by amateur astronomer Dave Jurasevich on July 6th, 2008. It was noted and reported by Keith Quattrocchi and Mel Helm on July 17th, 2008. This image was obtained with the Kitt Peak Mayall 4-meter telescope on June 19th, 2009 in the H-alpha (orange) and [OIII] (blue) narrowband filters. In this image, north is to the left and east is down.


PN G75.5+1.7 is located in the constellation of Cygnus, not far from the Crescent Nebula (NGC 6888). It is embedded in a diffuse nebula which, in conjunction with its faintness, is the reason it was not discovered until recently. The spherical symmetry of the shell is remarkable, making it very similar to Abell 39.


Image: T. A. Rector/University of Alaska Anchorage, H. Schweiker/WIYN and NOAO/AURA/NSF [high-resolution] Read NOAO Conditions of Use before downloading


Caption: NOAO

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Holy cow! Original Batmobile from TV series sells for $4.2 million






PHOENIX (Reuters) – An Arizona man with a special fondness for caped crusader Batman and his sidekick Robin bought the original Batmobile driven in the iconic television series with a bid of $ 4.2 million at an auction on Saturday.


Rick Champagne, a Phoenix-area logistics company owner, came away with the black, futuristic two-seater featured in the “Batman” series starring Adam West and Burt Ward from 1966 to 1968, following a flurry of spirited bidding at the Scottsdale, Arizona, auction.






“I really liked Batman growing up and I came here with the intention of buying the car,” Champagne, 56, told Reuters in a brief interview moments after he bought the car. “Sure enough, I was able to buy it. That was a dream come true.”


The Barrett-Jackson auction was the first time the car was put up for public sale. In addition to the $ 4.2 million bid price, the buyer will have to pay an additional roughly $ 420,000 in premiums.


The Batmobile is based on a 1955 Lincoln Futura, a concept car built in Italy by the Ford Motor Co.


In 1965, the concept car was bought for a nominal $ 1 by noted customizer George Barris, who had a mere 15 days and $ 15,000 to transform the vehicle for the show. He has owned it ever since.


Barris told Reuters he had supplied vehicles for movies and television shows before, but this one had to be markedly different than the others.


“With every pow, bang, wow, wee, I wanted the car to do something just like the actors,” said Barris, 87, in an interview before the auction. “The car had to be a star on its own. And it became one.”


The car has a V-8 engine and instruments in the steering wheel, plus innovative items like a push-button transmission.


But generations may remember it best for Bat gadgets added for the series, including a car phone and the ability to deploy such things as oil, smoke and nails to thwart villains – not to mention twin rear parachutes for quick Bat turns.


Barris said the vehicle toured the country after the series and a movie and then was housed in a private showroom in California. He said it was time to part with the popular car and let a new owner have the Bat keys.


(Editing by Cynthia Johnston and Eric Beech)


TV News Headlines – Yahoo! News





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Well: Holly the Cat's Incredible Journey

Nobody knows how it happened: an indoor housecat who got lost on a family excursion managing, after two months and about 200 miles, to return to her hometown.

Even scientists are baffled by how Holly, a 4-year-old tortoiseshell who in early November became separated from Jacob and Bonnie Richter at an R.V. rally in Daytona Beach, Fla., appeared on New Year’s Eve — staggering, weak and emaciated — in a backyard about a mile from the Richters’ house in West Palm Beach.

“Are you sure it’s the same cat?” wondered John Bradshaw, director of the University of Bristol’s Anthrozoology Institute. In other cases, he has suspected, “the cats are just strays, and the people have got kind of a mental justification for expecting it to be the same cat.”

But Holly not only had distinctive black-and-brown harlequin patterns on her fur, but also an implanted microchip to identify her.

“I really believe these stories, but they’re just hard to explain,” said Marc Bekoff, a behavioral ecologist at the University of Colorado. “Maybe being street-smart, maybe reading animal cues, maybe being able to read cars, maybe being a good hunter. I have no data for this.”

There is, in fact, little scientific dogma on cat navigation. Migratory animals like birds, turtles and insects have been studied more closely, and use magnetic fields, olfactory cues, or orientation by the sun.

Scientists say it is more common, although still rare, to hear of dogs returning home, perhaps suggesting, Dr. Bradshaw said, that they have inherited wolves’ ability to navigate using magnetic clues. But it’s also possible that dogs get taken on more family trips, and that lost dogs are more easily noticed or helped by people along the way.

Cats navigate well around familiar landscapes, memorizing locations by sight and smell, and easily figuring out shortcuts, Dr. Bradshaw said.

Strange, faraway locations would seem problematic, although he and Patrick Bateson, a behavioral biologist at Cambridge University, say that cats can sense smells across long distances. “Let’s say they associate the smell of pine with wind coming from the north, so they move in a southerly direction,” Dr. Bateson said.

Peter Borchelt, a New York animal behaviorist, wondered if Holly followed the Florida coast by sight or sound, tracking Interstate 95 and deciding to “keep that to the right and keep the ocean to the left.”

But, he said, “nobody’s going to do an experiment and take a bunch of cats in different directions and see which ones get home.”

The closest, said Roger Tabor, a British cat biologist, may have been a 1954 study in Germany which cats placed in a covered circular maze with exits every 15 degrees most often exited in the direction of their homes, but more reliably if their homes were less than five kilometers away.

New research by the National Geographic and University of Georgia’s Kitty Cams Project, using video footage from 55 pet cats wearing video cameras on their collars, suggests cat behavior is exceedingly complex.

For example, the Kitty Cams study found that four of the cats were two-timing their owners, visiting other homes for food and affection. Not every cat, it seems, shares Holly’s loyalty.

KittyCams also showed most of the cats engaging in risky behavior, including crossing roads and “eating and drinking substances away from home,” risks Holly undoubtedly experienced and seems lucky to have survived.

But there have been other cats who made unexpected comebacks.

“It’s actually happened to me,” said Jackson Galaxy, a cat behaviorist who hosts “My Cat From Hell” on Animal Planet. While living in Boulder, Colo., he moved across town, whereupon his indoor cat, Rabbi, fled and appeared 10 days later at the previous house, “walking five miles through an area he had never been before,” Mr. Galaxy said.

Professor Tabor cited longer-distance reports he considered credible: Murka, a tortoiseshell in Russia, traveling about 325 miles home to Moscow from her owner’s mother’s house in Voronezh in 1989; Ninja, who returned to Farmington, Utah, in 1997, a year after her family moved from there to Mill Creek, Wash.; and Howie, an indoor Persian cat in Australia who in 1978 ran away from relatives his vacationing family left him with and eventually traveled 1,000 miles to his family’s home.

Professor Tabor also said a Siamese in the English village of Black Notley repeatedly hopped a train, disembarked at White Notley, and walked several miles back to Black Notley.

Still, explaining such journeys is not black and white.

In the Florida case, one glimpse through the factual fog comes on the little cat’s feet. While Dr. Bradshaw speculated Holly might have gotten a lift, perhaps sneaking under the hood of a truck heading down I-95, her paws suggest she was not driven all the way, nor did Holly go lightly.

“Her pads on her feet were bleeding,” Ms. Richter said. “Her claws are worn weird. The front ones are really sharp, the back ones worn down to nothing.”

Scientists say that is consistent with a long walk, since back feet provide propulsion, while front claws engage in activities like tearing. The Richters also said Holly had gone from 13.5 to 7 pounds.

Holly hardly seemed an adventurous wanderer, though her background might have given her a genetic advantage. Her mother was a feral cat roaming the Richters’ mobile home park, and Holly was born inside somebody’s air-conditioner, Ms. Richter said. When, at about six weeks old, Holly padded into their carport and jumped into the lap of Mr. Richter’s mother, there were “scars on her belly from when the air conditioner was turned on,” Ms. Richter said.

Scientists say that such early experience was too brief to explain how Holly might have been comfortable in the wild — after all, she spent most of her life as an indoor cat, except for occasionally running outside to chase lizards. But it might imply innate personality traits like nimbleness or toughness.

“You’ve got these real variations in temperament,” Dr. Bekoff said. “Fish can by shy or bold; there seem to be shy and bold spiders. This cat, it could be she has the personality of a survivor.”

He said being an indoor cat would not extinguish survivalist behaviors, like hunting mice or being aware of the sun’s orientation.

The Richters — Bonnie, 63, a retired nurse, and Jacob, 70, a retired airline mechanics’ supervisor and accomplished bowler — began traveling with Holly only last year, and she easily tolerated a hotel, a cabin or the R.V.

But during the Good Sam R.V. Rally in Daytona, when they were camping near the speedway with 3,000 other motor homes, Holly bolted when Ms. Richter’s mother opened the door one night. Fireworks the next day may have further spooked her, and, after searching for days, alerting animal agencies and posting fliers, the Richters returned home catless.

Two weeks later, an animal rescue worker called the Richters to say a cat resembling Holly had been spotted eating behind the Daytona franchise of Hooters, where employees put out food for feral cats.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, Barb Mazzola, a 52-year-old university executive assistant, noticed a cat “barely standing” in her backyard in West Palm Beach, struggling even to meow. Over six days, Ms. Mazzola and her children cared for the cat, putting out food, including special milk for cats, and eventually the cat came inside.

They named her Cosette after the orphan in Les Misérables, and took her to a veterinarian, Dr. Sara Beg at Paws2Help. Dr. Beg said the cat was underweight and dehydrated, had “back claws and nail beds worn down, probably from all that walking on pavement,” but was “bright and alert” and had no parasites, heartworm or viruses. “She was hesitant and scared around people she didn’t know, so I don’t think she went up to people and got a lift,” Dr. Beg said. “I think she made the journey on her own.”

At Paws2Help, Ms. Mazzola said, “I almost didn’t want to ask, because I wanted to keep her, but I said, ‘Just check and make sure she doesn’t have a microchip.’” When told the cat did, “I just cried.”

The Richters cried, too upon seeing Holly, who instantly relaxed when placed on Mr. Richter’s shoulder. Re-entry is proceeding well, but the mystery persists.

“We haven’t the slightest idea how they do this,” Mr. Galaxy said. “Anybody who says they do is lying, and, if you find it, please God, tell me what it is.”

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Treasury Auctions Set for This Week


The stock and bond markets will be closed on Monday in observance of Martin Luther King’s Birthday. The Treasury’s schedule of financing this week includes the regular weekly auction of new three- and six-month bills on Tuesday, and the auction of four-week bills on Wednesday.


At the close of the New York cash market on Friday, the rate on the outstanding three-month bill was 0.08 percent. The rate on the six-month issue was 0.10 percent, and the rate on the four-week issue was 0.04 percent.


The following tax-exempt fixed-income issues are scheduled for pricing this week:


WEDNESDAY


Brookhaven, N.Y., $142.9 million of general obligation bonds. Competitive.


Stamford, Conn., $50 million of general obligation bonds. Competitive.


Washington State, $1.2 billion of general obligation bonds. Competitive.


THURSDAY


Everett, Wash., $62.3 million of revenue bonds. Competitive.


ONE DAY DURING THE WEEK


Brevard County, Fla., $66.4 million of health facilities revenue refinancing bonds. Barclays Capital.


California Community Development Authority, $71.6 million of revenue bonds. Ziegler.


California, $334.6 million of health system revenue bonds. Wells Fargo Securities.


Colorado, $100.9 million of revenue bonds. RBC Capital Markets.


Connecticut Health and Educational Facilities Authority, $150 million of Yale University revenue bonds. Barclays Capital.


Florida, $107.7 million of utility electric system revenue bonds. Goldman Sachs.


Hillsborough County, Fla., Industrial Development Authority, $162 million of hospital revenue refinancing bonds. J. P. Morgan Securities.


Houston Independent School District, $301.5 million of refinancing bonds. J. P. Morgan Securities.


Louisiana, $250 million of highway improvement revenue bonds. Citigroup Global Markets.


Maine Housing Authority, $106 million of mortgage purchase bonds. Bank of America.


Milwaukee, $139.4 million of general obligation pension promissory notes. J. P. Morgan Securities.


New Jersey Economic Development Authority, $188.9 million of school facilities construction refinancing bonds. Bank of America.


New Jersey Economic Development Authority, $2 billion of school facilities construction refinancing bonds. Bank of America.


North Orange County, Calif., Community School District, $149 million of taxable bonds. Piper Jaffray.


Ohio Statewide Beverage System, $1.1 billion of revenue bonds. J. P. Morgan Securities.


Ohio Statewide Beverage System, $4.2 million of revenue bonds. Citigroup Global Markets. St. John’s County, Fla., $57.7 million of water and sewer revenue refinancing bonds. RBC Capital Markets.


Strongsville, Ohio, School District, $81 million of school improvement bonds. Stifel Nicolaus.


Winnebago, Ill., $52.2 million of general obligation bonds. Wells Fargo Securities.


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After 'final assault' in Algeria, details are slow to emerge









CAIRO — It was a bloody ordeal with tick-tock drama and a watching world.


The hostages at a gas refinery in the Sahara desert faced four harrowing days trapped between two dangers: Islamist militants who forced some of them into wearing explosives belts, and the Algerian military, which showed no inclination to negotiate for their release.


After the army carried out its "final assault" Saturday, Algerian officials said that at least 23 hostages and 32 militants had been killed since gunmen startled the world and rallied Al Qaeda-linked extremists by storming the refinery in the predawn hours Wednesday.





The nationalities of the hostages were not identified. Nearly 700 Algerians and 107 foreigners had been freed or had escaped from the gas field in eastern Algeria over the last two days. When the final assault began Saturday, at least 30 foreigners, including an estimated seven Americans, were unaccounted for.


The U.S. is "still trying to get accurate information" on what happened, Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta told reporters while traveling in London. The only confirmed American death was Frederick Buttaccio, 58, of Katy, Texas.


Many details of the tense, bloody hours at the refinery remain murky. Foreign governments whose citizens were hostages, including Britain and Japan, complained that the Algerians did not apprise them of what was unfolding. Reports suggest that no foreign capitals were consulted before the army's first raid on Thursday.


"The loss of life as a result of the attacks is appalling and unacceptable," said British Defense Secretary Philip Hammond, who confirmed word from the Algerians that the hostage crisis was over. "We must be clear that it is the terrorists that bear full responsibility for it."


French President Francois Hollande praised Algeria's handling of the crisis.


"When you have people taken hostage in such large numbers by terrorists with such cold determination and ready to kill those hostages — as they did — Algeria has an approach which to me ... is the most appropriate because there could be no negotiation," he told reporters.


Algerian officials said the heavily armed militants planted mines and threatened to blow up the refinery and kill hostages or use them as shields to escape across the desert into Libya. Media reports and accounts from freed hostages suggest a number of hostages were killed Thursday when an army helicopter fired on four, or perhaps five, vehicles moving within the compound.


At one point, the militants reportedly offered to trade two captive Americans for two extremist figures jailed in the United States, including Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, the blind Egyptian cleric convicted in 1995 of plotting to bomb landmarks in New York.


Saturday's army raid killed 11 militants but not before extremists executed their final seven hostages, two of whom may have been Americans. By nightfall, troops had discovered 15 burned bodies and were securing the plant, where hours earlier firefights played out amid the refinery's silver pipes and prefabricated housing.


"Our determination is stronger than ever to work with allies right around the world to root out and defeat this terrorist scourge and those who encourage it," said British Prime Minister David Cameron.


Other captives unaccounted for included 14 Japanese; five Britons; two Malaysians; and six employees of Statoil, a Norwegian firm. Their fates exposed the heightened risks to Algeria's gas and oil fields — and the skilled foreigners who help work them — at a time of growing Islamic extremism radiating across much of North Africa.


The militants were connected to a group known as Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb, which arose from the Algerian civil war in the 1990s. The attackers reportedly included Libyans, Egyptians and at least one commander from Niger. They said their assault on the compound was in retaliation for French airstrikes this month on rebels fighting to forge an Islamic state in neighboring Mali.


A White House official discounted that theory, saying the attack was planned far in advance of the French intervention in Mali. Accounts by freed hostages and statements by Algerian officials indicated that the militants, some of whom wore fatigues and appeared to know their way around the compound, may have been assisted by contacts inside.


The refinery, in a town called In Amenas, sits on a border rife with militants, traffickers and weapons, many of them looted and flowing in from an unstable Libya. The alleged mastermind of the hostage crisis was Mokhtar Belmokhtar, a one-eyed Al Qaeda recruiter, whose nicknames include Mr. Marlboro for his smuggling networks. He was believed to have been aiding the rebels in Mali.


The militants at the plant were armed with machine guns and rocket launchers, according to Algerian officials. Since early Thursday the compound was encircled by army tanks, troops and special forces. The intensity of the firefights and fear within the plant was described in recent days by freed captives.


A man identified as Brahim, an Algerian driver for refinery technicians, told French media of his escape with three foreigners early in the siege:


"As bullets rang out nonstop, we cut holes in the metal fence with large clippers, and once through, we all started running," he said. "There were about 50 of us plus the three foreigners. We were quickly taken in by the special forces stationed just a dozen meters from the base. I didn't look back. All I saw during my escape was that a plane was flying over the site."


The natural gas refinery at In Amenas is operated by BP, Statoil, and Sonatrach, the Algerian national oil company. BP said four of its employees were missing.


"While the situation has evolved, it may still be some time before we have the clarity we all desire," said Bob Dudley, BP Group chief executive. "While not confirmed, tragically we have grave fears that there may be one or more fatalities within this number."


jeff.fleishman@latimes.com


Times staff writer Henry Chu in London contributed to this report.





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Wired Science Space Photo of the Day: Sunset on Mars


On May 19th, 2005, NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit captured this stunning view as the Sun sank below the rim of Gusev crater on Mars. This Panoramic Camera (Pancam) mosaic was taken around 6:07 in the evening of the rover's 489th martian day, or sol. Spirit was commanded to stay awake briefly after sending that sol's data to the Mars Odyssey orbiter just before sunset. This small panorama of the western sky was obtained using Pancam's 750-nanometer, 530-nanometer and 430-nanometer color filters. This filter combination allows false color images to be generated that are similar to what a human would see, but with the colors slightly exaggerated. In this image, the bluish glow in the sky above the Sun would be visible to us if we were there, but an artifact of the Pancam's infrared imaging capabilities is that with this filter combination the redness of the sky farther from the sunset is exaggerated compared to the daytime colors of the martian sky. Because Mars is farther from the Sun than the Earth is, the Sun appears only about two-thirds the size that it appears in a sunset seen from the Earth. The terrain in the foreground is the rock outcrop "Jibsheet", a feature that Spirit has been investigating for several weeks (rover tracks are dimly visible leading up to Jibsheet). The floor of Gusev crater is visible in the distance, and the Sun is setting behind the wall of Gusev some 80 km (50 miles) in the distance.


This mosaic is yet another example from MER of a beautiful, sublime martian scene that also captures some important scientific information. Specifically, sunset and twilight images are occasionally acquired by the science team to determine how high into the atmosphere the martian dust extends, and to look for dust or ice clouds. Other images have shown that the twilight glow remains visible, but increasingly fainter, for up to two hours before sunrise or after sunset. The long martian twilight (compared to Earth's) is caused by sunlight scattered around to the night side of the planet by abundant high altitude dust. Similar long twilights or extra-colorful sunrises and sunsets sometimes occur on Earth when tiny dust grains that are erupted from powerful volcanoes scatter light high in the atmosphere.


Image: NASA/JPL/Texas A&M/Cornell [high-resolution]


Caption: NASA/JPL/Texas A&M/Cornell

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Paul Dano Playing Beach Boys Legend Brian Wilson






LOS ANGELES (TheWrap.com) – Paul Dano will play Brian Wilson in a new biopic about the gifted, but troubled Beach Boys leader.


Entitled “Love & Mercy,” the film will be directed by Bill Pohlad, who produced “The Tree of Life” and is also the son of billionaire Carl Pohlad, the owner of baseball’s Minnesota Twins. Oren Moverman, who earned an Oscar nomination for his screenplay for “The Messenger” in 2010, wrote the script for the film.






Dano will play Wilson in his younger “Surfin’ USA” days, but another, as yet uncast actor will play an older version of the singer, presumably taking up the mantle to dramatize the singer and songwriter’s long slide into mental illness and addiction.


Dano has impressed critics with intense turns in movies including 2007′s “There Will Be Blood” and with more lighthearted roles such as last year’s romantic comedy “Ruby Sparks.” He is currently filming “Prisoners” with Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal and will next be seen in Steve McQueen’s “Twelve Years a Slave” opposite Brad Pitt.


The star also received a very important blessing after getting the part.


“I am thrilled that Paul Dano has signed on to play me during one of my most creative explosions and most fulfilling musical times in my career,” Wilson said in a statement. “I still can’t believe how cool it is that my life will be portrayed on the big screen and to have Bill Pohlad as the captain of the Sloop John B is amazing.”


John Wells and Claire Rudnick Polstein (John Wells Productions) will produce along with River Road, which Pohlad founded.


Atticus Ross, who won an Oscar for scoring “The Social Network,” is in talks to work on the sound design of the film and the soundtrack, which will feature lots of Wilson hits.


Paul Dano is represented by Anonymous Content and WME.


Movies News Headlines – Yahoo! News





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Personal Health: That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don’t work out, “We can always split.”

But the divorce rate in the United States is half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.


Jane Brody speaks about love and marriage.



I say “embers” because the flame of love — the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet — does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness — or unhappiness.

Infatuation and passion have even shorter life spans, and must evolve into “companionate love, composed more of deep affection, connection and liking,” according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

In her new book, “The Myths of Happiness,” Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive.

She points out that the natural human tendency to become “habituated” to positive circumstances — to get so used to things that make us feel good that they no longer do — can be the death knell of marital happiness. Psychologists call it “hedonic adaptation”: things that thrill us tend to be short-lived.

So Dr. Lyubomirsky’s first suggestion is to adopt measures to avert, or at least slow down, the habituation that can lead to boredom and marital dissatisfaction. While her methods may seem obvious, many married couples forget to put them into practice.

Building Companionship

Steps to slow, prevent or counteract hedonic adaptation and rescue a so-so marriage should be taken long before the union is in trouble, Dr. Lyubomirsky urges. Her recommended strategies include making time to be together and talk, truly listening to each other, and expressing admiration and affection.

Dr. Lyubomirsky emphasizes “the importance of appreciation”: count your blessings and resist taking a spouse for granted. Routinely remind yourself and your partner of what you appreciate about the person and the marriage.

Also important is variety, which is innately stimulating and rewarding and “critical if we want to stave off adaptation,” the psychologist writes. Mix things up, be spontaneous, change how you do things with your partner to keep your relationship “fresh, meaningful and positive.”

Novelty is a powerful aphrodisiac that can also enhance the pleasures of marital sex. But Dr. Lyubomirsky admits that “science has uncovered precious little about how to sustain passionate love.” She likens its decline to growing up or growing old, “simply part of being human.”

Variety goes hand in hand with another tip: surprise. With time, partners tend to get to know each other all too well, and they can fall into routines that become stultifying. Shake it up. Try new activities, new places, new friends. Learn new skills together.

Although I’ve been a “water bug” my whole life, my husband could swim only as far as he could hold his breath. We were able to enjoy the water together when we both learned to kayak.

“A pat on the back, a squeeze of the hand, a hug, an arm around the shoulder — the science of touch suggests that it can save a so-so marriage,” Dr. Lyubomirsky writes. “Introducing more (nonsexual) touching and affection on a daily basis will go a long way in rekindling the warmth and tenderness.”

She suggests “increasing the amount of physical contact in your relationship by a set amount each week” within the comfort level of the spouses’ personalities, backgrounds and openness to nonsexual touch.

Positive Energy

A long-married friend recently told me that her husband said he missed being touched and hugged. And she wondered what the two of them would talk about when they became empty-nesters. Now is the time, dear friend, to work on a more mutually rewarding relationship if you want your marriage to last.

Support your partner’s values, goals and dreams, and greet his or her good news with interest and delight. My husband’s passion lay in writing for the musical theater. When his day job moved to a different city, I suggested that rather than looking for a new one, he pursue his dream. It never became monetarily rewarding, but his vocation fulfilled him and thrilled me. He left a legacy of marvelous lyrics for more than a dozen shows.

Even a marriage that has been marred by negative, angry or hurtful remarks can often be rescued by filling the home with words and actions that elicit positive emotions, psychology research has shown.

According to studies by Barbara L. Fredrickson, a social psychologist and professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a flourishing relationship needs three times as many positive emotions as negative ones. In her forthcoming book, “Love 2.0,” Dr. Fredrickson says that cultivating positive energy everyday “motivates us to reach out for a hug more often or share and inspiring or silly idea or image.”

Dr. Lyubomirsky reports that happily married couples average five positive verbal and emotional expressions toward one another for every negative expression, but “very unhappy couples display ratios of less than one to one.”

To help get your relationship on a happier track, the psychologist suggests keeping a diary of positive and negative events that occur between you and your partner, and striving to increase the ratio of positive to negative.

She suggests asking yourself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?” The simplest acts, like sharing an amusing event, smiling, or being playful, can enhance marital happiness.


This post has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: January 18, 2013

The Personal Health column on Tuesday, about making marriages last, misspelled the given name of a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, who studies happiness. She is Sonja Lyubomirsky, not Sonya.

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The Boss: New Leaders Inc. C.E.O. on Giving Children a Chance





I AM the youngest of 10 children in my family, and the only one born in the United States. My father was a municipal judge who fled Haiti during the Duvalier regime. He and my mother settled in the Bedford-Stuyvesant area of Brooklyn, but could not initially afford to bring over my four brothers and five sisters, who stayed in Haiti with relatives.







Jean S. Desravines is the chief executive of New Leaders Inc. in New York.




AGE 41


FAVORITE PASTIMES Karate and taekwondo


MEMORABLE BOOK "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character," by Paul Tough






Since he did not speak English fluently, my father worked as a janitor and had a second job as a hospital security guard. He later took a third job driving a taxi at night to pay for my tuition at Nazareth Regional High School, a Roman Catholic school in Brooklyn. My parents were determined that I was going to get a good education, and wanted to keep me away from local troubles, which did claim two of my childhood friends.


Working so many jobs overwhelmed my father. He had a heart attack and died at age 59 behind the wheel of his taxi. My mother found it difficult to cope without my father and moved back to Haiti in 1989 with two of my siblings. I thought I would have to leave school because I had no money for tuition, but Nazareth agreed to pay my way.


I wound up sleeping in my car for almost three months, showering at school after my track team’s practice. I also held down two jobs, both in retailing, and one of my sisters and I rented a basement apartment in East Flatbush.


After graduating from high school in 1990, I attended St. Francis College in Brooklyn, on athletic and academic scholarships. I worked first at the New York City Board of Education, where H. Carl McCall was president, then in his office after he became New York State comptroller. I later worked in the office of Ruth Messinger, then the Manhattan borough president.


I broadened my nonprofit organization experience at the Faith Center for Community Development while earning my master’s of public administration at New York University. I married my high school sweetheart, Melissa, and we now have two children.


In 2001, I began to work toward my original goal — improving educational opportunities for children — and joined the city’s Department of Education. I was later recruited under the new administration of Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg to help start a program as part of his Children First reforms.


In 2003, I became the Department of Education’s executive director for parent and community engagement, and, two years later, senior counselor to Joel I. Klein, then the school chancellor. He taught me a great deal about leadership and how to change the education system. But I began to realize public education could not be transformed without great principals who function like C.E.O.’s of their schools.


So in 2006 I returned to the nonprofit world, to New Leaders, a national organization founded in 2000 to recruit and develop leaders to turn around low-performing public schools. Initially, I managed city partnerships and expanded our program in areas like New Orleans and Charlotte, N.C.


In 2011, I became C.E.O., and revamped our program to produce even stronger student achievement results, streamlined our costs, diversified funding sources and forged new partnerships. We have an annual budget of $31.5 million, which comes from foundations, businesses, individuals and government grants, and a staff of about 200 people at a dozen locations.


We have a new partnership with Pearson Education to provide greater learning opportunities to public school principals. The goal of these efforts is to have a great principal in each of our nation’s public schools — to make sure that, just as I did, all kids get a chance at success.


As told to Elizabeth Olson.



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